He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
