guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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