I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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