$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
