True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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