Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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