Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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