I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
