The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
