Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
