I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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