I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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