I wannas sexs uuuuu
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
