Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize