Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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