he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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