are you still at the devil's house?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
