we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
