Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
