we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
