I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just invented taco cereal.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
