I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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