My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Your cock deserves a montage
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
