I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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