saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
