I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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