I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
