I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
