your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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