i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
