why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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