I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
