im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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