i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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