Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
