This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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