The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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