love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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