I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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