the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
