omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
