A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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