I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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