I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How external is "for external use only"?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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