So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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