I bet he comes in French.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
