Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
