i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
