Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
