the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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