theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
