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• (216): View more from Ohio

  when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  damn...impressive bar tab

  (216): View more from Ohio

  no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

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• (253): View more from Washington

  My mind says no, but my body says yes.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  What does your body say about chlamydia?

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd

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• (925): View more from California

  I hope this adventure ends at a hospital

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just got my second shot

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days

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