I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
