Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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