Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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